Congrats! Your daughter is engaged (or about to be) and your have entered into the role of Mother of the Bride! As a bridal consultant for over 5 years brides have shared emotions, stress and happiness with me behind a closed door. During that hour and a half brides often shared the struggles they were experiencing with bridesmaids, family members, and their mom. The laundry list of wedding tasks can be daunting and put stress on relationships OR it could it strengthen it. Here is a list of tips and tricks to enhance your time and relationship as Mother of the Bride.
1. Be a Good Listener
Your daughter's phone is blowing up with messages from sweet friends and she is loosing sleep looking at Pinterest. She needs someone to listen to her hopes and dreams for the big day - and that someone is YOU! She will be trying to figure it all out and need to verbally process her hopes, dreams, and even aggravations. Lend a listening ear and small pieces of advice.
2. Make Wedding Chores Fun!
While the bride and groom are thrilled to be starting their life together - getting there can be difficult. If there is a task that the bride and groom are dreading (thank you notes, organizing the guest list, etc) help them out by making it fun! Bring them a bottle of wine and some snacks to help make the task less daunting.
3. Keep an Emergency Kit
Keep a small little bag of goodies in your purse during wedding planning, vendor visits, showers, and rehearsal dinner for the bride, groom and even maybe yourself. I would suggest travel size ibuprofen, gum or mints, band-aids and a small snack.
4. Be on Time
Try to be not just on time, but early for wedding events and see if you can lend a set of helping hands.
5. Avoid Early Inviting
She said Yes! And you can't wait to call all your friends and family to tell them the happy news, but take a deep breath before calling and texting your contact list. Let the happy couple set a date and wait for the OK from them.
6. Be Willing to Shed the Guest List
After combining your list, the groom's family list, and the couple's list the headcount may be too high. Offer to shed some people from your list (and the groom's family too) so that the bride and groom can celebrate with people they are closet to in their everyday life.
7. Comparison is the Thief of Joy
"Comparison is the Thief of Joy" is my favorite quote because it works with almost every situation, but definitely when it comes to wedding planning. Avoid comparing the couples decisions to your wedding day, a friends wedding day, or something you saw on TV.
8. Don't Over-Promise
If you say you are going to do something then do it - the bride will be counting on you, so avoid adding stress to your relationship or situation by promising something that you can not deliver on.
9. Be Honest
The bride is going to want your opinion on her wedding ensemble, decor, venue, and etc. Be honest with her but make sure it is constructive honesty and helpful to the situation.
10. Get to know the Wedding Planner
It doesn't matter if the bride has a full service wedding planner or a day of coordinator it is best to get to know them.
Introduce yourself and let them know you can be the point of contact for the wedding day in case of an emergency.
These are just a few tips I have learned over the years through chats with brides and moms. Overall, remember to enjoy this time together and if things get tough turn on y'all's favorite song, pour a glass of wine and dance it out --- and then regroup.